Because He Sees You and Will Give You Rest

Attitude of Gratitude, Day 6

I'm thankful for peace.

This weekend was filled with fun around every turn with my son.

We filled our moments with play and laughter and many, many hugs.

These experiences are so very precious to me.

Tonight, as we read Where the Sidewalk Ends, he drifted off to sleep nestled into my shoulder...

A quiet moment, snuggled with my love.

Peace.

Life is so fleeting. 

Our seconds fall through the hourglass before we can turn time on its edge to stop the clock.

It can make our journey feel frantic and broken, unable to control so many of the moving parts.

But in the chaos and pain come pieces of peace.

Sometimes, we plan our way there (i.e.- setting aside quiet time alone).

But peace is most beautifully displayed when it falls onto you unexpectedly. It's treasured time with loved ones, a gracious end to a challenging day, the miraculous quieting of an anxious spirit, or unexplainable strength through a season of deep trial.

It's God reaching into your existence to say,

" I see you, and I will give you rest."

Because Goodness is Found in All Kinds of Places

Attitude of Gratitude, Day 3 & 4 & 5

My apologies for the delay.I told you, I screw up a lot.

#3
I'm thankful for new beginnings. 
Sometimes, there are many. 
Daily decisions to do better than you did the day before. 
I'm thankful that, when we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
A fresh start.
We gain the opportunity to drop the baggage that weighs us down, leave the past where it belongs, and pursue hope for a future that's not defined by our failures.

#4
I'm thankful for moments of joy.
Particularly when they interject themselves into the dark seasons of our life. 
A rough day forgotten in laughter.
Pain healed by the company of a loved one.
Bitterness broken by the the remedy of forgiveness. 
In times when we feel shackled to difficulty and strife, there is freedom in joy.
But not only does joy help break up rhe dark, but can be produced because of it.
For our suffering grows a perseverance that cannot cultivate otherwise. 
In sorrow, we build ourselves to joy.

#5
I'm thankful for my family. 
Family life is beautiful.
And challenging.
And hilarious.
It swings from one end of the spectrum to the other with only a moment's notice, and we're just along for the ride. But this ride is exciting and full of anticipation, wonder intertwined with the comfort of their company.
Their well-being, love, partnership, support, victories, friendship, joy, even mere existence make my world go 'round. 
I am a better "me" because of them.

Because I Screw Up...A Lot (Day 2 of Thankfulness)

Attitude of Gratitude, Day 2

I am so very thankful for grace.

Both the abundant mercies of God and those gifted from others.

I fall short so often in so many, many ways. Follow-ups, emails, reminders, scheduling, coordinating... regardless of how much thought is given or how much effort is devoted, my shortcomings always seem to remain victorious. In my mess, I am constantly met where I'm at by the Lord in his beautiful faithfulness. Failure upon failure, He shows me up with layers of grace upon grace. With this, I'm deeply blessed by others who share in pouring patience over me time and time over. 

Forgiveness gifted.

Brokeness healed.

Lessons learned.

Because Gratitude Sets the Altitude for Living (Thankfulness Journal)

Our pastor, James MacDonald, has a knack for crafting these sayings that stick with you. They're bits of truth that shake up the soul (in the best way possible, of course). They answer questions that plague your psyche; break the strongholds that hide in your spirit. The saying shown above is one of my favorites. It's a beautiful reminder that a heart and mind steeped in thankfulness will elevate your life to new heights. That something as "simple" as gratitude has the power to lift us up out of even the darkest of places. Intentional, authentic gratefulness. It may not obliterate every speck of the difficulty in your life, but it will allow for a quenching joy over that life as a whole...hardships and all.

My current elevation must be fairly close to the ground, as I've allowed myself to be weighed down by complications instead of lifted in thanks. My thoughts and emotions are in need of a major upheaval; a pendulum swing towards a higher altitude from an improved attitude. Where the gratitude begins to quiet the chaos.  I've decided to embark on a journey of daily thankfulness through Easter.


Today, I'm thankful for God's healing and redeeming love. For the mind blowing fact that, while I was still a sinner, Christ took to the cross to bear my faults and pay my penalties. I am so humbled in reverence to his selfless sacrifice in death and his unequivocal victory in the resurrection. He took the darkness of my sin and paved me a way to the Father. By his wounds, on the day of my salvation and every day, I am healed. 

Romans 5:8
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crust for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.

Romans 8:37-39
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height or death, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Because Hope Always Matters (Grace Abounding's Birthday)

I heard this at a church service this Christmas. Yes, I know Christmas is over. But it really struck a cord, particularly with hitting the "Reset" button for a new year:

"It was as if an earthquake rent

The hearth-stones of a continent,

And made forlorn 

The households born

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;

"There is no peace on earth," I said;

"For hate is strong,And mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The Wrong shall fail,

The Right prevail,

With peace on earth, good-will to men."

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

In the world around us, belief in "peace on earth and good-will to men" has begun to fracture by the havoc wreaked in our daily news and daily life. The weight of a world cultivated by pride, obsession, and hatred is too much to withstand. "Mocks the song", as the carol says. Fear and upset delude hope, love feels fictional, and dreams become just that. 

In my own little world, I spent the last 365 days falling down...hard.

This blogging endeavor is one year old today. Its goal was to track the goals (and craziness) of 2017. Blessing certainly came my way...Cubbies Director, college, wedding officiant, preschool beginnings, small group initiation, the growth of my beautiful children. In the same breath, it was an exceptionally challenging year. My own shortcomings, failures, and sin cycles devoured more time and energy than I care to admit. Additionally, specific outside circumstances continued to shatter, rebuild, and shatter again. An unruly repetition,grasping at a ghost resolve.  It was a year that, by the end, did not feel hopeful. It felt defeated...exhausted...broken. I had started 2017 determined to make life "better", but rather took routes that landed me right back to square one.

This week I've been reading the amazing and positive goals that many of you are charging after. Genuinely, I wish you the best. I, in turn, am tempted to go into hibernation. I mean, can 2018 REALLY be any better? Last year was supposed to be the "best year ever," as they say, and we can see how that went. Why should I let myself down again?

In efforts to be optimistic, can I somehow use my broken pieces of 2017 for something good in the year to come? 

1 Timothy 1:15-16

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."

I was so encouraged stumbling onto this, a verse I posted on Facebook a little over a year ago (thanks, Facebook memories). It shouts the answer that I can, because God can. Not of my doing, but of Christ in me and through me. In my weariness I forget the beauty that He pulls from ashes, continuing to take my worst for His best. I'm enabled to comfort others with the same comfort He has given to me (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). And when I wonder if what I do will ever be enough to combat the world's darkness and my own, I'm reminded that goodness with Christ always matters. Hope always matters.

It's what transforms our hearts from "There is no peace on earth" to "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep". From greatest sinner to mercy sharer. Cultivating lifeless soil with seeds of fruitfulness.
(Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law)

So right now, I'm not thinking about "5 Goals to Make 2018 the Best Year Ever".
I'm not giving a lot of thought to lost pounds on a scale, books to be read, or a cleaned-out closet (although, none of those would be a bad idea).

For now, I'm just scooping up the pieces of my brokenness to present to the Ultimate Fixer-Upper, the Master Healer and Redeemer. I'm believing His promise that He is faithful and just to forgive those who are repentant (1 John 1:19), and trusting that my fractured remains are in the right hands.

This year, the goal isn't, "Year Me."
This year, it's, "Lord, Use Me."

Because Sometimes We're Wrong, Even When We're Trying to Do it Right

Less than 24 hours after my last post, I found myself in a heated situation.
Argument...discussion...these words don't seem to fit the storm that ensued.

Perhaps emotion warfare? 
Desperation negotiation? 

Whatever the definition, it made me look back on my own words and assess how well I actually stood by my "wisdom".  

The answer...not great.

Not to say that I was a flat out hypocrite. I did give it my best effort, attempting to be patient, empathetic, acknowledge positives, words of encouragement, etc. 

My error took place, though, when a reaction I had was misinterpreted by the other person. In fact, it was read as being the complete opposite of my intention. The other party took great offense to this, which I could understand. But no matter what I said, my point was refused to be seen. In my mind, there was a deep need to correct this. Largely because of the subject matter. Largely because what was interpreted was against everything that was on my heart. I was being accused of something that wasn't true. Something that stood against all of my words and actions leading up to that point. The dagger, if you will, to an already distressed spirit. My arms flailed as I passionately pleaded my message, that it was authentic through every nerve ending and every ounce of my being. Nothing could change their stance, and I should have walked away. 

What I did wrong, #1) Sometimes I need to know when to quit...or at least, give it a breather.

I should have walked away, but I didn't. To me, I couldn't. I didn't want to hurt the person in having them think I didn't support them. But in fact, I was hurting the situation by not letting it sit. Accepting what I knew to be true, even if the other person couldn't see it yet. If I had exited the conversation, I could have a)taken it immediately to prayer and b)continued to show this support through my actions instead of force feeding it. Sometimes we don't truly see what we're doing until our view is outside of the emotional lens. I should have walked away...not in frustration, but despite of it.

What I did wrong, #2) Though I didn't need to be right, but I needed to be heard...no matter what

I think we all have a need to be heard in some capacity. It's part of our relationships, to respect the opinion of others and feel as such in return. Here, I let it escalate past the threshold to a desperate attempt. I felt like I was going crazy and it made me all the more motivated to have this person truly understand where I was coming from. Motivated right over the top of the priority line. The need to have this person understand became more important that salvaging the situation. Who does that put first; me or the other person? That's a big, fat "ME", no matter what my other intentions were. Perhaps I should have been listened better, to "hear" that this wasn't the way to fix this.
I needed to remember...no matter what this person thought, by God, I'm always heard. 

What I did wrong, #3) WWJD did not compute

The best answer to any issue...good ol' WWJD. For those of you who did have this on a wristband or a t-shirt growing up, it stands for, "What Would Jesus Do." And though I was trying to convey a message of love, I didn't stop to clearly think, "How would Jesus being trying to say this if he were standing in my shoes right now?" If I had taken a minute to pause and meditate on this, the situation may have taken a better turn. Maybe not. But it wouldn't have been any worse than how it steered.

Why am I sharing this? Because if I'm so bold as to share wisdom on a topic, I should be bold enough to speak on my own failure with it.

And I need to learn from my mistakes.
Which I did...
because the next day was round 2. 

A calm road until it reached Mount Kilimanjaro.
This time, I let it end before we reached full blown killer eruption.
It didn't feel good, on either end. But it also didn't destroy the village.
Soon after, a situation came about where I needed to decide if I was going to react with them "because of what happened", or "despite of what had happened."
I chose the latter, because to me, that showed the love I was trying to convey all along.

I don't approach the "publish" button with great eagerness on this one, as this wasn't my finest hour. But none of us our perfect. Maybe you can relate to this, whether the giver or the receiver. I hope this makes someone feel heard or understood, or at least not alone. Because you're not...you're always heard.

Because Sometimes You're Wrong, Even If You're Right

I like to think that, "Treat others as you want to be treated" is a fairly universal and well-respected concept. If you grew up in church, you would have heard it as, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Despite all of the terrible things bombarding the newsrooms on a daily basis, I still hold out hope for some of humanity to follow this code.  Some do. Others show that to know is not the same as to practice. Sometimes, we decide to pick and choose who deserves this honor from us.

A common example...

The social media account of a well-known Christian radio station was recently hacked with numerous political and inappropriate links. If you have ever listened to this station or followed their accounts, you would know pretty quickly that there's no way this junk would have truly been posted at their hand. Think of it this way...if your mother had a Facebook page and only posted about Jesus and grandkids but then suddenly shared The Thong Song music video (I know, I'm dating myself here), you'd likely assume that she was hacked.  You'd have the courtesy to say, "Hey Mom, you might want to reset your password because you've been compromised," or ask a question of the sort before making some type of grandios assumption.

However, that was not the case for many with this mishap. Followers immediately began to lash back at the station...vowing to boycott, pulling their donations, casting the all too familiar "holier than thou" card before really knowing the details. Those who knew it was fake called them, "Idiots," among other insults.

All from a group of Christians. 

We see it all the time in our world now. It quickly escalates from "I can help them to understand" to "I will force them to see my side" to "I'll have to berate them, for they are obviously too stupid/stubborn/ignorant/crazy/racist/misogynist/intolerant to conform to my line of thinking". All of which is apparently acceptable? Why? Because we're looking at a screen instead of someone's expression? Because we have the "right" to say whatever we want?

Our right to free speech should never dominate our responsibility to treat others as Christ would. 

We will never earn the right for cruelty. 

No level of righteousness permits belittlement.

It's not just in our social media interactions, either.

Sometimes we're so hellbent on being right or heard that we make every wrong choice to validate it. How about in our homes? With the people we love? Is our right to say as we choose- our "right to be right"- important enough to destroy relationships and minimize the people we promised to lift up?


This has been on my heart a lot lately. I'm no perfect person. Far, far, FAR from it. I can be stubborn and hardheaded, and God-by his grace- is working on me (Phillipians 1:6, look it up). But I'm learning much by having been on both sides of this coin. I know that if we are more determined to be right than to be loving, to have the upper hand than be fair, to make our point than to listen, there will be no "right". 

The communication self-destruct button.

I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with this kind of combat without total shutdown (call it self-preservation). Despite what our emotions dictate us towards, there's a way to say everything even when you have everything to say. That goes for both the giver and the receiver. As I navigate these muddy waters, I have found much that God has much to say about our heart in our interactions:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19‭-‬20

"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.  To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.  Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.  And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.  "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
Luke 6:27‭-‬32

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬6

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3‭-‬4

Surely oppression drives the wise into madness, and a bribe corrupts the heart. Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7:7‭-‬9

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.
Leviticus 19:18

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
1 Corinthians 13:1

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
 1 Thessalonians 5:14

 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31‭-‬32

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3‭-‬4

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness... Galatians 5:22

His truths are endless on the matter. My words on this are fleeting, merely the flame of inspiration that will become the vague embers of something you once read. But the Word of God stands forever. It cuts through "joint and marrow, discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart" ( Hebrews 4:12), a refuge for those who need it (Psalm 18:30). If anything, may it be what echos in your mind the next time you need to speak. HIS words, not mine.