Enough

I'm a blogging virgin.  

Until now, my contributions to the World Wide Web have been kept within the realms of amateur social media...the bombardment of kid photos, scripture verses set in inspirational backgrounds, the occasional tweet, etc. Because let's face it...does anyone REALLY care about what I have to say?   What value could you find in my 2 cents?

...(insert awkward silence here)

I suppose if you're here reading my rambling thoughts, though, some small fraction of you has decided this might be worth your while.  I hope it is.  If not, you have my sincerest apologies. But don't worry; I won't be heartbroken.  Truly, this isn't meant for you.  At least, not only you.  It's meant for me.  A source of accountability and outlet for venting as I pursue my goals in the coming year.  It's for the me looking for a different way to stay on track and keep my eyes on the prize. The me that has had enough.  

Enough of not having it together, no matter how much I try.

Enough paralyzing fear.

Enough anxiety.

Enough of my newly introduced short temper.

Enough of feeling stuck, going through the motions merely to get to the next day.

Enough of the deafening screams in my head....along with the deafening silence.

Enough moments sitting in my car, or on my kitchen floor, or hiding in my closet, tears streaming down my face  (FYI-Usually there's pizza or ice cream involved in these moments).

Enough absolute desperation, with seemingly no hope of change to follow.

Enough exhaustion (despite many caffeinated efforts).

Enough loneliness.

Enough doubt.

Enough drowning.

Enough chaos. 

Enough 
Enough
Enough.

I know, I know...so melodramatic. 

But this has been reality...and I've had enough.  2017 is where I reach the fork in my road.  I have two options with my life...fight to stay afloat, or fight to blow it out of the water.  It took some time of me banging my head against the wall, but now I have the courage to choose the latter.   

And so I embark on a journey of transformation (so original, of course).  You're welcome to tag along for the ups, downs, and all-arounds that I will surely encounter.  Posts won't always be dramatic, or incredibly detailed about certain matters, but they will be honest. 

There is one more "enough"...although different from the ones on the oh-so optimistic list above.  This one is hopeful...the one I will be clinging to.

Christ is enough.

In all things.
At all times.
No matter what I'm feeling in a given moment.

He is faithful when I am not, gracious when I don't deserve it.  Over the course of the last year, I fell short in relying on those truths...massively.  #epicfail tenfold.  

Goal #1 for 2017- DAILY time in the word, no matter the duration

Scripture memes do not qualify.


To start off strong, I will be meditating on these over the next week as well.

Romans 5:20
Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more...

Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Romans 8:35----39

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written,“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

I hope these speak into your heart too, as a little reminder of God's unbroken and unfailing for you.